I’m back from my holiday. I usually get maudlin when I return home, but the Gazette had a couple of excellent stories to chirp me up. Who’d have thought that my local paper would be enough to console my sadness? Well done, Gazette. You nearly make up for the distinct lack of beach near my house.

First up, salaciousness. Apparently, Cally Pool is being used for more than swimming. A cheeky website called Cruising Gays has given the pool four out of five stars for cruising. Cruising, for the uninitiated, involves gay people looking for action in public, or as the Gazette put it, ‘“action”’, with those coy little speech marks around the word like raised eyebrows.

Some people are upset at the prospect of bumping into, well, men bumping into each other during their family swim. I can see why. Now, I love gay men.They are fabulous and I want to be one when I grow up. However, I don’t want to see anyone – gay, straight, Kerry Katona–doing the dosie-do during my swimmie. After all, I don’t have “action” in anybody else’s bathtub. Mind you, that’s largely because nobody loves me.

However, I can take heart from Adora the dog, who was also once an unwanted pup, kicked out of home and not getting any “action” in Cally Pool or the bathtub. Adora was taken in by kindly couple Robert (a clarinettist – cool job) and Stephen (a cinema manager – dude, sort out the popcorn prices) eight years ago after her owners decided to say sayanora to Adora.

Adora has just made her stage debut as stray dog Sandy in the musical Annie, now showing at the Pleasance in Holloway. Brilliant. Adora was kicked out of home, Sandy was a stray.This is method acting of the highest order, just like Dustin Ruff-man or Dogert de Niro.

In fact, Adora has never had an acting lesson. Adora has quite a few dog and cat brothers and sisters living with her, which is presumably why she never had any stage school training. Robert and Stephen would have had to pay for all of the animals to go to Italia Conti, and that would have been most expensive.

No, Adora merely showed up for an open audition with Robert and got the part. Proof that you should never let your beginnings determine your endings. Well done, doggie!