Bully girls making my work life miserable

I’ve recently started work as a junior in a design department in an ad agency, and to be honest, the other girls are making my life a nightmare.

They’re so confident, so cliquey, and so up their own bottoms. They do their best to make me feel useless, and frumpy. I never had this problem at school, or at college. I was always pretty popular, and still have wonderful girl friends from that time in my life who tell me to ignore it and that women can be cows.

But the only friend I have at work is a gay man, who sees the way they treat me and who tells me what they say about me. They call him ‘The Diva’ as he’s slightly further up the pecking order, and have started to refer to me as a ‘fag hag’.

My boyfriend says I should have this out with management, but my girlfriends say that this is just the way things are in our business, and to rise above it all. What do you say?

Barbara says: Your friends are right – women bullying other women is unfortunately rife in services where there are too many women jostling for higher posts. We shouldn’t do this, but sadly some do.

But don’t play that game. And please understand that someone who tells you what someone said about you may also be playing a game. Just be who you are.

Take no notice of office politics. Smile through gritted teeth. Steer clear of management report, though, unless it gets too much for you. Don’t place yourself in the position of victim. Fight quietly by doing your job well