Did my wonderfully ‘crazy’ wife get right diagnosis?
When I got together with my missus – we’re not married but that’s only a matter of getting her into the mood to agree to a date – I knew I’d found the perfect woman.
I was 28, overweight, stuck in an accountancy job, OK for money, very good with organisation, but as someone once said to me, “You’ve got no mojo”. Too damned true.
Then I met a whirlwind. It’s the only way I can describe her. She’s such a crazy lady, and against all odds, we’re still together after nine years and have two wonderful children. I absolutely adore her. She’s brought the unexpected into my life.
In the early days, I never knew what she’d do next – strip off, try to get off with my best mate, serve up half-cooked food, make a fool of herself at karaoke, but she was always my woman, and at the end of the day we were always in bed together, no matter if she’d done something mad or wild, or even upsetting, she was my dream.
So many times she’s asked me why I put up with her, and the answer is simple, I love her. I couldn’t live without the magic she brings to our lives. She can clean a house faster than a robot on speed. She can talk endlessly about nothing, and it’s always funny, and she’s a great mum, despite the fact that our eldest, a boy, now seven, has just been diagnosed with AD/HD.
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Our beautiful daughter is just like me, and just wants to play with her PlayStation, and eat chips and chocolate, and is on the edge of being overweight, as I was at her age. We have serious conversations while Rocket Mum, and Rocket Son just fly all over the place. I couldn’t be a happier dad or partner. My life is perfect, and I’ve even lost a few stones, running after the little rocket and his mum.
So what’s just happened? That’s what I’m writing about. My lovely lady noticed a similarity between our son and herself, and saw the GP, who referred her to a consultant, who has diagnosed her with AD/HD, too. Funny, I thought this was only something that kids have. Apparently not.
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She’s now on medication, and it’s been adjusted so that she’s still herself, but can actually remember when to buy food, when to clean the house (not at 2am!!) how to hold down a job and how not to cause a major traffic accident. She says she’s never been happier. I was always happy! But I’d like to know if adults can be AD/HD?
Everyone I talk to says it’s just a naughty kid thing, and there has to be some other reason for her craziness,
Barbara says: Let me reassure you. AD/HD is something most children grow out of. But some don’t. So they go on to become AD/HD adults, and thank goodness they do, as many of the celebs and stars we look up to may have those characteristics. They do mad things. They’re larger than life. They entertain us. They make us laugh. And AD/HD is really inheritable. So an AD/HD parent, whether male or female, could have an AD/HD child.
I’m so happy that you’ve found that your partner’s “craziness” is acceptable to you. It’s also acceptable to most of us. And it’s acceptable to her, now she’s found some balanced medication. AD/HD is just a problem with a certain chemical, dopamine, moving around the brain. That chemical is a brake which tells us when not to do stuff. The medication will help just chill her down a little.
As for your son, it’s a bit more difficult in kids, as everyone thinks they’re just bad and undisciplined. It’s not true, is it?