Don’t let them cut Christmas

Doesn’t Upper Street look all pretty at the moment? All of those lovely Christmas lights twinkling in the sky above the traffic. I always look forward to walking down Islington’s main thoroughfare at this time of year, eyes firmly on aforementioned twinkly lights as I bumble along.

If you too love the lights on Upper Street, then suck them up because, in a “let’s ban Christmas” type happening in the style of Scrooge himself, they may not be there this time next year.

According to a leaked report (ooh, sneaky!) Islington Council, otherwise known as Misery, Snivvles and Co, might ban all the lovely Christmas decorations across the borough next year in order to save money. Great. Deck the halls with boughs of nothing.

If this were a panto, then the Council would be the evil villain (played by an ex member of the EastEnders cast, no doubt). Boo and indeed hiss.

It’s not just the Christmas lights, by the way, that are under threat. In the words of the Gazette: “Lollipop men will be axed.” Eek! There is no need to decapitate the lovely lollipop men just to save a few pennies. That’s really going to traumatise the kids on their way to school.

OAP helpers are also under threat, which is terrible news for OAPs, who suffer enough what with being the most unloved people in society anyway. As previously trailed – boo and indeed hiss.

Back to the twinkly lights. As one local in the know pointed out, the council has already bought them, so all they need to pay for is a leccy to come and hang them up. Oh yes, and the fee for whichever C list celebrity comes to switch them on. That’s not a criticism by the way, just an observation – I think that we can safely say that the likes of Brangelina are unlikely to be on the switching-on list now that budget cuts are looming over Islington.

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We need to save money, of course, but Christmas only comes once a year, and in times like these we need some sparkly cheering up. We’ve got the rest of the year to look at dark and gloomy old skies.

Come on The Council, you old miseryguts! Save the lights, before you find yourself being haunted by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future soon in an effort to shake a bit of cheer into you.