Dream girl turns into a demon after a drink

I’d been looking forward to this Christmas, because it was the first I’d spent with my new girlfriend, and it has to be said, my first real girlfriend.

We’re both 20, I met her at college, and she’s the sweetest and loveliest girl I’ve ever met. I believed I was in love with her, and maybe I still am, but I’m not sure.

The thing is that I’ve always been wary of loud women, and she’s just the opposite. She’s demure, classy, and beautiful, and clever, too. She’s from the Far East, and I know that loudness and being chavvy isn’t a part of her culture.

However, after a drink her personailty changes completely – she becomes very aggressive and sometimes violent.

My parents met her and adored her, so I invited her to spend Christmas with us, as our heritage is also Far Eastern, although I was born here.

Anyway, the family went out with us on Christmas Eve and relatives kept filling up her glass. By the time we got back home she was out of control, and everyone could see that.

I ended up in A&E after she hit me over the head with an ashtray.

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Although she is wonderful, my parents have told me that they don’t want me to see her again.

It’s difficult, but can I stand up against my family and say that this is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life? I’m sure that now she knows the effect alcohol has on her, she’ll be the woman of my dreams.

l Barbara says: Hmm. Drink can affect people that way, especially if they’re not used to it. It’s supposed to lower inhibitions, and the focus on who we are, when under the influence, may be the secret to what lies inside our personality when we take the reins off. This suggests that for some reason she may have a side to her personality, or experience, that you haven’t seen.

Whether you want this to be an ongoing relationship isn’t really about your family and their attitudes, but about what exactly is happening when this unexpected violence occurs. Please contact your GP and college counsellors to get to the bottom of this.