Get away from this control freak!
Over Christmas, my partner decided that it would be alcohol-free. Just like that. Mind you, he does tend to make rules for me which I MUST follow. If I don’t, he can get stroppy and aggressive.
So I was allowed to cook and shop and clean, but mustn’t drink at all, which is a pretty tall order when you’re part of an Irish-based London family. So, I drank with my family, but kept our home booze-free, even though I was pretty desperate for a decent drink, and the best I could do was to hide a bottle of wine, and glug it in secret.
My parents also supplied me with a couple of bottles of spirit which I kept hidden. They don’t like him. Nor, actually, do I any longer. He’s a bully, who hurts me.
He found the booze, and had a bash at me, again, on New Year’s Eve. I got out, went to my parents’ and they got me into A&E. Of course he’s doing what he always does, lots of flowers, lots of apologies, but he still wants me to go to AA, when I get out of hospital. Like it’s my fault?
I’m 25. He’s 50. He rules my life and tells me how bad I am. He says I’m an alcoholic. I’m just normal, the psychologist, here, says. I never thought that I was worth anything. But he made me feel that I’m useless.
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I started working for him when I was 16, and I’m still his partner. He tells me he left his wife for me, and that I owe him. But I’m starting to think that actually, I may be OK, on my own. That’s what my mum and dad say, and the hospital people. What do you think?
Barbara says: Get away from this control freak. He hurts you and says it’s your fault? Sheesh! He’s seriously trying to bend your mind to suit his controlling nature. Walk away. Be who you are.
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