Hairy men are biggest turn-off

I can’t stand men with beards. Facial hair stinks. It also cuts your face up when you go in for a snog. And if they’ve got a beard, you can usually bank on two things.

One is that they’re generally hairy all over their body, including the biggest turn-off of all, their back. And the second thing is that they’re often balding on top. So, how does that work?

How can men with gorilla hairy bodies have bald patches? And how can men who can’t grow hair on their heads grow it on their face? And (this is the biggest beard question of all) why do men who have beards usually have dark hair and reddish beards? Or have I just had some bad hairy moments with weird Neanderthal guys?

Barbara says: Too many questions, not enough time... The simple answer is testosterone, the male hormone. The more you have, the more hairy your body, including your face, is likely to be. As for what’s called ‘male pattern baldness’, growing a beard may be a compensation thing, or it may just be that the guy in question doesn’t like tearing his face up each day with a razor, any more than you like having your face torn off by snogging a beardy guy.

Reddish-brown facial hair is a basic Brit/European thing. My advice is that if you don’t like beards, stay away!