He wants to put wedding on hold
I’m two months’ pregnant, and my fianc� and I always said that we’d tie the knot when I was having our baby.
We’re in our late 20s, have been together for six years, and we’ve been saving up for this wedding. Also, his parents and mine are going to put in a few thousand each, so we really can afford the wedding of our dreams.
I’ve been hard at work planning, and the best wedding I can find is in the Maldives at Christmas. Perfect. The whole family is geared up for this. It’s going to cost about �10,000, all in, and we’ll still have �5,000 left over for baby things and preparations.
And my firm, I’m an accountant, is going to let me work from home after the first six months of baby’s life, so we’re not short of money.
But at the end of last week, my fianc� was suddenly made redundant, as the firm he works for went into liquidation. He’s devastated. I know he’ll get another job very easily as he’s a television engineer, and in demand.
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Now he wants to postpone the wedding, just in case. I’ve got a real gut feeling that this is a case of cold feet.
All my friends agree with me that we should go ahead with the wedding but my fianc� can’t see sense. I’m wondering if we’re meant to be together, as he’s being very difficult and won’t see my point of view.
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Can you support me in telling him that we shouldn’t let a little thing like this spoil our big day?
l Barbara says: No, because I don’t agree with you for several reasons – the issue isn’t as simple as you see it. Men aren’t terribly good at asking for help. He needs your help and support. He wants you to be there for him NOW. He doesn’t want you playing around with arranging a wedding. He needs to be the centre of your attention.
You also have another centre of attention coming soon, the baby. Look, in six months’ time, he’ll probably be back on his feet. He’ll be the greatest husband and father in the world, because he knows that whatever happens, your love for him is solid. He’s depressed and scared. The wedding can happen whenever.
Look after yourself and your baby, but look after your fianc� first. He’s your life partner, and show him that you’re there for him, not for a baby bump frock and the Maldives.