I can’t perform with baby in room

My partner had our first child six months ago, and the baby sleeps in our bedroom. It’s easiest for feeding and changing, and waking in the night.

But actually, although my partner still wants us to make love, I can’t. Not with a baby in the room, who may be watching us.

My partner thinks I’m just making excuses, or that I don’t fancy her any more. But the fact is that I can’t make love in front of another set of eyes, or someone who may be upset by it.

My little daughter shouldn’t have to witness that, should she?

Barbara says: I see where you’re coming from. But right now, everything your little girl may witness is just a part of real life. Working it all out, and whether it’s bad or good, comes a lot later in child development.


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In the meantime, if it’s bugging you so much, carry the crib, or whatever, into a warm other room when baby is clearly sleeping sound. Bring her back, gently, when mum is sexually satisfied and happy.

This will remove your fears. It will also give your partner comfort, reassurance, and the healing joy of knowing that you still love her, as a man loves a woman. She needs that now.

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