I’m attracted to bad guys
I come from a decent middle-class home, and went to a private girls’ school. I’ve done a variety of jobs, usually working behind a bar.
I’ve never done stripping, or escort work, or been a part of the sex industry at all, but I have a big weakness – I’m attracted to bad guys. And when I say bad, I mean really bad.
My parents disowned me when I was 22. I’m now 25. I’ve tried to get help, and my parents paid for me to go into a clinic once. The psychs tried to tell me that I was rebelling against everything my parents stood for, like conservatism and a strict and cold relationship with me, which I know all about anyway, but I can’t seem to get out of this spiral.
Now, I’m pregnant by latest of these bad boyfriends is up in court next week on some pretty heavy charges. He’ll certainly go down, again, for them.
I’ve always wanted a child of my own, to love, like I never was loved. I just want something really soft and warm to hold. Bringing up a baby on my own would maybe save my life. But is it fair to do this?
Barbara says: No. You should never expect anyone to save your life, and to place this burden of responsibility on a tiny vulnerable baby is cruel. You have to get yourself sorted, and loved, before you can love a child. Your baby is not an object, a way out, he or she is a real human being in the making.
Bringing up a child as a single mother is tough. I know, because my husband and I divorced when my son was five. Please find your own way out of this. Don’t involve an unborn child in your grown-up life problems. See your GP. Do the right thing.