I’ve fallen for the best man!

I’ve always wanted to get married young, right from when I was a little girl. I dressed up as a bride, and loved my First Communion because I could be a bride for the first time.

So, when I met this guy, my first really serious boyfriend, I was determined that this would be it. I’m 20, he’s 30, and to tell the truth, I had to cut a few corners to get to this wedding, which now takes place in a fortnight.

The invites are all done, the reception and the ceremony are all sorted out, as they would be, because I’ve been planning my Big Day for years. Anyway, he proposed in February, when I told him I was pregnant, and I started setting up the wedding there and then.

I’ve had to tell him last week that I had a miscarriage, but as I said, it wasn’t strictly true, nor was the pregnancy. These were just two of the corners I had to cut. All along, my friends at college (I’m doing a beauty course and will become a nail technician) have been telling me I’m crazy, and that I can do much better for myself, although I didn’t believe them, as I’ve not had much luck with men, until him.

He’s a bit overweight, doesn’t speak English very well as he’s from my own country and has only been here for eight months, and works as a general labourer. He’s not particularly clever, but he’s husband material, and my parents don’t mind him.

So, wedding a month away, and his best friend, who’s going to be best man, arrives from Poland (our country of birth). And suddenly, I feel attracted to him. Funnily enough, he seems to feel the same. I’ve been with him once and it was what all my friends tell me that love should really be like. I felt something I’ve never felt with my fianc�.

He’s funny and caring, and only 21, and slim and good-looking. But it’s all too late, isn’t it? I’ve got the wedding I wanted and I’ve now maybe fallen in love. I can’t stop thinking about this guy, and when we’re in the same room together, it’s electric. What do I do? Do I go through with the wedding and just settle for the whole marriage thing? Or do I call it off at the last minute?

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I mentioned to my dad that I wasn’t sure, yesterday, and he said it was marriage nerves. Maybe it is. What do you think? Can I get married and just have a relationship with this other guy?

Barbara says: You’ve got it all wrong, haven’t you? Marriage isn’t just a wedding. It’s a commitment. I’d say call it all off, and start clearing your mind of the childish dressing-up dreams you seem to want to hold on to. Learning about love, and what it really means, isn’t a road you’ve travelled yet. Sorry to burst your bubble. But quite honestly, it needed to be popped. Grow up, sweetheart, and don’t destroy a man’s life for a day when the frock means everything.