Major embarrassment

I have no problem when I’m pleasuring myself, but when I’m with a woman, I can’t ejaculate at all.

This is causing me major embarrassment as I have to fake it. I’m only 25.

What is the reason for this?

Barbara says: There are many reasons, usually psychological. You could be under pressure, you could be a perfectionist who wants to do it right and over-thinks sex (you have to let your body take the lead) or you could have a medical problem.

Have a chat with a GP, and see if there’s any medical cause. Then maybe get some counselling, or just stop pleasuring yourself quite so often. It’s easier than sex, but it gives you the dangerous idea that it has to be fast/instant to be good. The opposite is true.


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With a partner, you have to get in the moment. It takes as long as it takes, and both of you have a part to play.

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