Mum won’t let me live life I want

At the end of my first year at university, I was hit by a very serious bout of glandular fever and had to go into hospital for a while.

Yes, it was my fault. I was burning the candle at every end imaginable. I mostly got my work done in time, even if it meant staying up all night, and I partied most weekends, as well as being a member of the Uni cross-country team. And then there was my sex life. The least said about it, the better, but it was fun!

So, I ended up having to go home to live with my mum after I came out of hospital. I’ve got nothing against my mum. She’s a sweetheart who’d do anything for me. But maybe that’s the problem. For the last 18 months I’ve been treated like an invalid, and although I certainly was for the first year, I’ve been regaining my health and strength, and I’m ready to come out of this prison she’s created for me.

I know she’s doing it with all the best intentions in the world, but she doesn’t any longer see me as the fit athletic girl I was. I’m not allowed out of the house except for a daily walk (I usually run, once I’m out of sight of her net curtain-twitching) and an odd trip to the shops.

She won’t let me cook, clean, or go out for a few drinks with friends, because the one time I did, I got a cold. It’s hardly surprising after being wrapped in cotton-wool for so long.

You may also want to watch:

She says I may never be able to have a lively social life again, or run cross-country, and she’s totally opposed to me going back to university. I can’t bear the thought of it.

She says that one day I might be able to get a little job. Is this the end of my life? I’m going on for 21 now, the doctor says I’m over it, but you know what? I think she just likes all this nursing stuff.

Most Read

What do you think I should do? I don’t want to hurt her. But I miss my studies, my friends at uni, and it has to be said, I miss sex. I’ve had 18 months without it and I’m going crazy for it. Can you see a way out for me?

Barbara says: Yes, confess all this to your doctor. Ask to see a counsellor. Your mum may need to see a counsellor, too. And if you’re wanting to get back to uni, start your action plan NOW!

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter