Mum won’t let me live life I want

At the end of my first year at university, I was hit by a very serious bout of glandular fever and had to go into hospital for a while.

Yes, it was my fault. I was burning the candle at every end imaginable. I mostly got my work done in time, even if it meant staying up all night, and I partied most weekends, as well as being a member of the Uni cross-country team. And then there was my sex life. The least said about it, the better, but it was fun!

So, I ended up having to go home to live with my mum after I came out of hospital. I’ve got nothing against my mum. She’s a sweetheart who’d do anything for me. But maybe that’s the problem. For the last 18 months I’ve been treated like an invalid, and although I certainly was for the first year, I’ve been regaining my health and strength, and I’m ready to come out of this prison she’s created for me.

I know she’s doing it with all the best intentions in the world, but she doesn’t any longer see me as the fit athletic girl I was. I’m not allowed out of the house except for a daily walk (I usually run, once I’m out of sight of her net curtain-twitching) and an odd trip to the shops.

She won’t let me cook, clean, or go out for a few drinks with friends, because the one time I did, I got a cold. It’s hardly surprising after being wrapped in cotton-wool for so long.


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She says I may never be able to have a lively social life again, or run cross-country, and she’s totally opposed to me going back to university. I can’t bear the thought of it.

She says that one day I might be able to get a little job. Is this the end of my life? I’m going on for 21 now, the doctor says I’m over it, but you know what? I think she just likes all this nursing stuff.

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What do you think I should do? I don’t want to hurt her. But I miss my studies, my friends at uni, and it has to be said, I miss sex. I’ve had 18 months without it and I’m going crazy for it. Can you see a way out for me?

Barbara says: Yes, confess all this to your doctor. Ask to see a counsellor. Your mum may need to see a counsellor, too. And if you’re wanting to get back to uni, start your action plan NOW!

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