I’m male, 23, in my first job and have a lovely girlfriend/partner, who isn’t always domiciled here. Here’s the problem. Earlier this year, the firm I work for had a big fancy dress party. My girlfriend was away, and I couldn’t think of what to go as. In the end, because I couldn’t be more creative, I went as a woman. I’m small, slim and baby-faced.

The odd thing was that once I’d dressed, and got the wig and the make-up on, I actually looked like a woman. No one at the party recognised me. Some of the guys actually tried to get off with me. The girls included me in their gossip-fest. It was a blast.

One thing led to another. I started buying women’s clothes and undies and shoes, and started to go out “dressed”. Men tried to chat me up, but I hated it. I know I’m not gay, and that’s something else I can’t quite get my head around.

Anyway, my girlfriend came back, and one day, while I was at work as she was rooting around, she came across my stash of clothes and undies, and nightwear, and when I got back she was ballistic. She thought I was seeing someone else, and that what she found belonged to my “other” girlfriend.

Finally, I had to admit what I’d been doing. She was so relieved. She demanded that I dress up for her, which I did, and then we had the best sex ever. Since then, she comes out with me when I’m dressed, and we get back home, crawl into the sack, and blast each other’s rocks off. But that’s the only sex we have. I now have to be dressed to turn her on.

I don’t want to go down this line exclusively. I’ve told her that, but she says that making love to me when I’m dressed is the wildest and most wonderful feeling she’s ever had. I don’t know. Sometimes, I just want to be me!

Barbara says: Fairy Nuff. Exploring sexual boundaries can be amazing. But it can get a bit samey if that’s all you do. Sometimes you just need sex to be an expression of warmth and love and comfort, not an explosion of eroticism. You need to explain to her how you feel, and how you’d like, sometimes, some intimate cuddles, as a bloke, as yourself. Insist.