A year or so ago I had a weird sexual relationship with a girl, who, to be honest, was rather rubbish in bed, and seemed to hate the whole sex issue. Yet she was the one who instigated it all.

I couldn’t get my head round this. Sex was dismal. After really trying to enjoy myself, I had to just call it a day. There’s only so much you can do with a marble statue.

She was a pretty little thing, but she didn’t have that chemical connection which even some not so pretty and sometimes quite ugly girls have in bed. Finally she stopped pestering me (honest, that’s how it felt) and slipped out of my life.

Then two months later I got a text from a mobile I couldn’t identify and which was deleted immediately, thanking me for getting her pregnant. She said that she and her (female) partner, apparently, didn’t have enough money for sperm donation, but wanted a baby together, and wanted it to look a certain way, and to have a certain level of academic qualification. So I was selected, in the university bar, as “the right kind of genes”.

This was over a year ago. Do I try to chase up this mother of my baby who by her own admission never told me her real name, and has now disappeared? Can you help?

Barbara says: OK, you’ve been used and abused. There’s little you can do about this. Get counselling through your university. That can help you get all this in perspective.