Should wife spoil her daughter’s Goth wedding

Since my wife left us to move on to bigger and better things and a guy with lots of cash, I’ve brought up my daughter alone.

She wanted to stay with me, and we got on and get on like a house on fire.

She’s a chip off the old block. I’m a session musician. So for 15 years, we’ve rubbed along nicely, since she was 10.

My daughter is a designer, and has her own stall at a craft market. She’s a Goth. I’m just an old rocker.

From time to time, mum has shown up, or invited our daughter to visit or go on holiday with her and the new family, but since the Goth thing started, her mum has seriously disapproved, and it’s created a bit of a barrier.

Anyway, my daughter’s getting married at the and of September. She’s been living with this guy since college, and like her he makes a decent enough living, selling heavy metal CDs on ebay, and at other outlets.

So, this wedding. They want a fun wedding with guests in fancy dress, or Goth gear, register office, then finish off with a pie and mash supper and some live rock bands for a knees up. Sounds good to me!

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Anyway, for the sake of keeping the peace we decided that the ex should be invited. A girl needs her mum at her wedding.

Keeping the peace? That had to be a joke. Mum has gone off on one about the disgrace of a do like that for HER daughter, and has been ringing our girl continually, crying and screaming that she ought to have something traditional and that her new old man will help out to give her a great day in a castle, with all the trimmings.

It’s become a battlefield. My girl’s getting upset, but she’s not changing her mind.

Do I step in and have words with the ex? Do we just forget about the cloud that her mum’s putting over the whole thing? Can you have a wedding without the bride’s mother?

Barbara says: I didn’t expect you to get traditional! Of course you can have a wedding without the bride’s mum, especially if it looks as if she’ll ruin it.

Your daughter deserves a day to remember. Tell the ex to get out of your life, if she’s going to upset her daughter.