My girlfriend and I have so far been to 15 auditions for reality TV talent shows. We’ve been turned down for every one.

She got me hooked on this. She’s got a great voice and I play a cool keyboard, and we both dance up a storm, and have the whole Goth thing going on.

We are genuinely ‘different’ and special. But they keep ditching us. We never get called back.

Are we really that bad? I can’t believe it. I think we’re OK.

Barbara says: Look, here’s the low-down on reality TV. They call you back if you have real talent, and they call you back if you’ve made a total fool of yourself. Your problem, and what will save your life, is that you’re not bad enough to be put through as the freak act. You’re just, well, OK, as you say.

Sometimes it’s good to be not bad but not great. In Britain the reality of talent, if you have it, is about just doing your best, and finding the niche market for you, and plugging away at that, if you want to sell yourselves.

Stay away from television shows.