Wife’s lost her sense of humour

I’m a funny, funny guy. I work as a cab driver, and do stand-up. She used to love it all. It was her naughty giggle that got me started with her. We used to have a real laugh with whoopee cushions, willy-warmers in various shades of neon, and hilarious practical jokes.

Our kids still love the comedy, and the eldest who’s now nine, sometimes joins me in my act. But she’s become a total misery guts. Nothing I do can cheer her up and she’s lost her giggle.

Let me give you an example. Guy says: “I took my son to the zoo the other day. There was only a dog in there. It was a shitzu.”

Now, I think that’s pretty funny. She didn’t even crack a smile. But since she lost her job as a dinner lady in our daughter’s school, there’s no laughter from her. She spends her days with the employment tribunal people. She got sacked because they said she was too friendly. Or at least that’s how I look at it.

She just gave an extra dinner helping to a kid who lives down the road that she knows doesn’t get fed by his mum. She’s done nothing wrong. She’ll walk the tribunal. But she won’t take my word for it. She says she feels destroyed. It’s putting a damper on all of us. I know what she’s going through, but it shouldn’t be like that, she’s just taking it too much to heart. Meanwhile I’m doing my best to cheer her up, but honestly I’m getting nowhere, and I don’t know what to do.

Barbara says: You’re trying to cheer her up? You know what she wants you to do? It’s to understand how bad she feels about this. Sometimes the funny guy act won’t work. It’s like you’re not listening.

She’s been treated unfairly as a kind human being. You think she’ll sail through it, and you’re probably right. But you’re not “getting” that she’s been seriously affected by this. She doesn’t need cheering up. She really needs to cry on your shoulder, and for you to hug, love, care, sympathise, and take this VERY seriously.

Not everything is cured by laughter. Some things are cured by tears.