A Cure for Wellness, review: ‘Its failure is total’
- Credit: Archant
The plot is cobbled together and there’s an excess of eels in this style-over-substance (but not particularly stylish) thriller
Hollywood has a sly way of dealing with gripes about its committee driven creative process and the way it stifles originality and individuality: every once in a while they allow an individual to be creative.
They pick a director who has made them heaps of money helming blockbusters and let him loose on an itch they’ve always wanted to scratch.
The prime example would be Zach Synder’s Sucker Punch, an unfathomable assemblage of pipsqueak pretensions that had you yearning for a nice sensible sequel or franchise superhero flick.
Here the director of Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3 (Gore Verbinski) has been allowed to indulge himself with a Hammer Health Spa of Horror number, set in the Swiss Alps which somehow manages to fritter away nearly two and half hours searching for something to merit our attention.
You may also want to watch:
It’s a much more sedate, circumspect fiasco than Sucker Punch, but its failure is just as total.
Dane DeHann is an evil banker sent to bring back the CEO of the company who has gone to the treatment centre where nobody ever leaves.
- 1 Helen Anderson: Finsbury Park murder victim's father pays tribute to his daughter
- 2 Man jailed for rape of young girl in north London 40 years ago
- 3 Police looking to speak to man in connection with sexual assault
- 4 Home of the metre-long pizza opens in Finsbury Park
- 5 Mem and Laz Brasserie voted as readers' favourite restaurant
- 6 Spot the '90s pop stars in the Never Mind the Buzzcocks identity parade
- 7 Kacem Mokrane: Islington man amongst seven charged with 2017 murder
- 8 'Proper old Islington boozer' voted best pub by readers
- 9 Disused Holloway garages converted into garment-making workspace
- 10 Trevi Ristorante scoops prize with readers' votes
Once there he tries to uncover its sinister secrets but take ages doing so; probably because he can’t believe that the big reveal is going to be quite as irrelevant and uninteresting as it is.
The plot seems to have been cobbled together to set up a series of big scenes that Verbinski wanted to shoot.
It’s an exercise in style over substance, but the style is tired and second hand and not nearly enough to make you forgive the contrived plotting.
And it’s all eels, almost every visual shock involves eels. What’s the big deal with eels? They might make you jump once, but not repeatedly; a little of what eels you goes a long way.
Rating: 1/5 stars